Friday, January 14, 2011

Day 3 of my journey to becoming a body builder

With the sluggishness that comes with being forced inside by cold and snow and coupled with the constant ads for gyms that pop up this time of year, I can't help but think I need to recommit myself to physical fitness. Naturally, the logical solution would be renew my gym membership which expires next week. However, I'm not ready to put down the money for a whole new year yet. Also, I haven't been to that gym in a good two weeks now. This is partially because it's cold and snowy and I didn't want to walk all the way over there, and partially because I'm slightly scared that their super aggressive sales team will convince me to renew while I'm sweaty and vulnerable.

Without the gym, and without being able to run outside for another couple of months, I worry that my muscles will atrophy and I will no longer be able to climb down the stairs to get more Belgian waffle mix to feed my new waffle iron (which is another reason I should probably be working out...). Luckily, my friend suggested to me a fitness plan that seems promising: p90x.

It's kind of pricey (although still about 1/4 the cost of renewing my gym membership), but if reviews on Amazon are any indication, it does give you results. And I could stand to be a little more toned. Actually, the reviews on Amazon nearly kept me from buying it. So many of them said that while it definitely did work in the end, that the workouts were so intense that it caused them to throw up. I was slightly concerned but then I thought, "why would anyone work out until they threw up?" I think if I was feeling even the tiny bit nauseated I would go ahead and put the thing on pause. It's a video; it's not army boot camp.

The system is 12 dvds with different workouts that you do for 90 days. There's also a diet you're supposed to follow, but I'm not doing that portion yet (unless, and I haven't verified this, it somehow includes the Chinese take-out I had for lunch yesterday). My main problem with the diet isn't that the food looks bad--the recipes actually look quite good. It's the expenses I would have to incur if I actually followed the diet. In an effort to get you to eat a nice variety of nutrients, the diet tells you exactly what you should eat each day for each week of the program (there are 3 phases). The first day you get to eat a cup of fresh strawberries with your breakfast spinach and egg white scramble. But then fresh strawberries aren't on the menu again for 2 weeks! They probably aren't looking too fresh by then.

You'd think the p90x fitness program comes with a free can of spray tan. Strangely, I couldn't find mine.

You're supposed to take before pictures and then pictures of your progress every 30 days. I won't be posting those, so you'll just to assume I'm becoming extremely ripped. Tony Horton, the bizarrely perky trainer who leads all the videos, assures you that if you do all 90 days, you'll be ready to really bring it and do another 90 days with the "double workouts" option. Then, after that, he promises you'll be ready to climb Mt Everest because "you'll be a beast." This is only true if kickboxing, wacky jacks, and seemingly endless ways to do push-ups are the secret to high altitude mountaineering, which I suspect they are not.

Nevertheless, I'm willing to commit to Tony for the next three months. Today is day 3.


  1. I hope you won't look like the guys in the pictures! But I can't wait for updates. Just don't write about throwing up. :)

  2. Is this the kind of thing with a money-back guarantee? I'm always very suspicious of those. You call in and ask for your money back and the dude is like: "But did you do all the reps like in the video?" And you're like "Except for the times I had to stop because was puking." And then the persons like "KEEP TRYING!! Get a bucket and you'll be a BEAST is 90 days!!!" But I guess it can't hurt as long as the work-outs don't somehow overide your brain to want to go to tanning places.

  3. I love your projects! I actually heard about this on 104.9 today. Apparently Jessica Simpson used it to get fit for the movie Dukes of Hazard. And she was pretty hot in that. They were also saying on the radio that no one would want to do that for all of their lives because it was so intense--hence jessica's less hotness now. :)

  4. I hope it works for you - you should definitely post your 'after' photos! :)

  5. Thanks for the support, friends! Also, Carolyn, it doesn't come with a money back guarantee. So really the only incentive is increased hottness.

  6. This sounds scary! We need frequent updates.

  7. I'll be following you on this one. Vicariously.