I bet James Franco wouldn't have made it to 30 days

I've promised to give you updates on my p90x progress, and the 30-day mark seemed like a good place to make good on my promise. That's right, as of today I am one third of the way done with the program. Amazingly, I've found time between making batches of ridiculously unhealthy (and, by extension, ridiculously delicious) cookies and have yet to miss a day. Getting up at 6 am everyday has helped with this. Sadly, that streak is about to end as I'm taking the next week or so off (more on that in a minute), but I will be picking up phase 2 on my return from vacation.

Impressions thus far? I haven't noticed any major changes in my physical appearance or overall fitness. Perhaps if I actually played a sport or did anything routinely that required physical fitness, I would be better able to gauge if my performance had improved. A severely obese smoker would have no problem finding the lung strength to play the tin whistle, so that's no real testament. I do note that I don't get winded going up the stairs to the 5th floor of my office anymore, but I also feel it more in my legs (especially after the p90x Legs & Back dvd. One-legged wall squats are deadly). I took my 30 day progress pictures, but I won't be posting those. To actually see any results I have to show way more skin than I'm comfortable displaying on the internet.

In lieu of my actual progress photos, please except this reasonable facsimile.

Aside from physical changes, I've noticed more subtle ways Tony Horton (p90x's energetic host) is influencing me. Litte phrases, that I think of as Tony-isms, have been leaking into my everyday vernacular. I certainly say "bring it!" in a challenging tone more often than I used to. I also have taken to heart his frequent axiom: "do your best, and forget the rest". Actually, having now seen many of the dvds at least 4 times, I'm starting to remember all of Tony's jokes and witticisms, and frankly the more times I see them, the funnier I find him. Tony (according to Wikipedia) originally moved to LA to be a comedian and actor but, when that inevitably failed, he became a personal trainer to the stars.

I've learned to associate the different routines with Tony's commentary. The Shoulders & Arms routine is the one where he seems high and compares large backwards arm circles with flexed hands to a "pterodactyl backing out of danger," naturally with the appropriate sound effects. The Legs & Back routine is the one where he does his Groucho Marx impression by making up his own one-liners about exercise. My personal favorite Tony bit is what I call the "soup test." In several of the workouts, one of the ballistic stretches is called "stirring the pot." Basically, you hang down and circle your arm as if stirring a giant pot of soup. Every time, Tony asks the other people in the class what kind of soup they're stirring. Correct answers can range anywhere from lentil to split pea or even tomato basil. However, Tony is not above correcting those who answer this question wrong. One p90x grad says she's making lobster bisque which Tony wastes no time in telling her is not on the p90x nutrition plan. Oddly enough, in another video Tony himself says he is making lobster bisque, but quickly specifies that it's for someone else. These are the kind of mind-games and melodramas that I find fascinating at 6 am when I'm all sweaty and confused.

Anyway, I'll update you again in another 30 days when I'm 2/3rds of the way through. Actually, it will be more than 30 days because, as mentioned above, I'm taking a week off before starting phase 2. I'm certain Tony would not approve, but I have non-refundable plane tickets to London and that completely outweighs my devotion to fitness. That's right--it's vacation time! Thus, you won't be hearing from me in the next week as I'll be far too busy drinking tea and eating fish and chips. However, I do promise pictures and tales of British adventures on my return.